So, my last post "Be Careful What You Pray For", wasn't as clear as I had wanted it to be. I could have said so much more that would have pertained to the title. However, yesterday I learned a lesson that completely explains that title, and the add on for today "You Just Might Find Yourself Fighting A Battle."
My oldest son Ethan has ADHD, and depressive disorder. He has been on medication for several years now and we have had a lot of battles with him. Just when we think we've gotten something under control we end up having other problems. We have gone through agencies and had workers and case managers and people coming to help him in school and group therapy and social groups to help him get to where he is today. I am very proud of the progress he has made. I am so happy that I am not being called every other day of having him getting suspended from school every other week. In fact, he has not been suspended once this year which is a huge milestone for him. I am reminded that I need to express to him how proud of him I am as I am writing this.
I like to read books on the Bible, Christianity, prayer. Beth Moore is one of my favorites, Chip Ingram, Patsy Clairmont, "The Shack" had an amazing impact on my life. But the point of this post comes from one of my books written by Stormie Omartian. I have her books "The Power of the Praying Wife", "The Power of the Praying Woman", and "The Power of the Praying Parent". Now I have to admit, I have never read any of the books straight through. I tend to pick and choose the chapters based on what kind of prayers I am looking for. Sometimes I use her prayers straight from the book, writing them down in my prayer journal or speaking them out-loud. Sometimes I use portions of them that specifically pertain to a situation I am dealing with at them time, or other times I just use what I can remember when I am deep in prayer and praying everything that comes to my mind. This is what happened to me yesterday. In her book, "The Power of the Praying Parent", Stormie has a chapter specifically addressing rebellion. As I was driving home from dropping Rick off at work and I was speaking my prayers out loud (I must look crazy as I am always talking to myself while I drive and I am alone in the car), I spoke the phrase "God, if there is any rebellion in my child please reveal it to me so that it can be dealt with and squelched now and give me the wisdom to deal with it". I don't know why I prayed that particular phrase in that moment, I didn't even give it a second thought at the time. Maybe if I had I would not have been so flippant to praying it. Because when the Lord answers a prayer, sometimes he REALLY answers a prayer!!! As was the case yesterday.
At 11:00 a.m. every morning I go to the school to pick up my son Drew from Pre-K. Then we make our way to the cafeteria to eat lunch with Jenna, and we usually stop in Ethan's classroom to check up on him for the day. Yesterday we stuck to the routine and when we got to Ethan's class his one teacher was there, (he has two and one was absent for the day), and as per usual I asked her how his day was going. To which I was told he was having a rough day.
Ethan has a hat, a Stewie hat for any Family Guy Fans out there, not that he is allowed to watch the show. He has seen a couple of episodes and only the ones his dad and I deem appropriate. However he had been begging for a hat and this one was on sale and so after months and months we finally relented and let him get the Stewie hat. And he wears it everywhere. When he took it off in the gym in the morning while they were doing their walking after breakfast someone picked it up. He was very angry and upset about that. He was asking a couple of teachers if he could go through some of the other students' belongings to find his had and so that "he would know who to beat the crap out of". That being a threat. He issued this threat several times. He ended up calling one of his teachers a disrespectful name and then to top off the behavior issues, he was refusing to do his schoolwork in class and was floating around the classroom ignoring all instructions of what he was supposed to be doing.
I calmly listened to what his teacher was saying and I was trying to figure out how to deal with this issue. I was a little frustrated that there hadn't already been any consequences to his bad behavior already, but then I remembered something. The last time he called a teacher a name or got angry and slammed stuff around, I had gone to the principal and his teacher and requested if he did that again he be sent straight to ISS. In School Suspension. I brought this up with his teacher and she agreed and said that that was fine with her. I went to the school office to speak with the principal to find out he was out of the office for the day, so I went to the ISS teacher herself. I told her of the situation and she agreed to keep the arrangement I had with Ethan's teacher and the principal and we went to go get Ethan who was in gym.
Once Ethan was informed of what was going to happen to him, he got extremely angry and out of control. The details are of little consequence, but to make a long story short, items were thrown, things were knocked over, things were punched, words were screamed and names were called to anyone and everyone who was in his path, including classmates and all innocent bystanders. At one point I took his face in my hands and told him very firmly that he WOULD walk to the ISS room and he WOULD do what was instructed and he WOULD complete all the work he had refused to do.
We got him to the ISS room and the behavior continued, culminating in "I'm getting sent to ISS by my MOM, I HATE HER, I freaking hate her", with more name calling of me and more "I hate hers", until the ISS teacher came to me and reassured me that they had everything under control and that he would be fine. I expressed to her that I felt bad for doing this to him by enforcing the rules the principal and his teacher and I had set for him, and she told me again that I was doing the right thing.
I left and headed to the cafeteria where it was all I could do to keep it together. I know kids tell their parents they hate them, I know he has expressed it about me before but always out of my ear shot, but I have never heard it out of his mouth myself, and my heart was broken. During this time I had several people come up to me and support my decision to stick to my guns and implement the rules that I had set for him. Which helped little to heal my wounded heart. I was weary and scarred. I came home and asked God to just let me rest.
When Ethan got home from school I called him to my room and the first words out of his mouth were "I didn't mean it mom, I don't hate you". Then he proceeded to tell me that he had finished almost all of the work he had refused to do in the morning and that he would be going back to his regular class in the morning. As pleased as I was, I was still weary and battle worn. It wasn't until later that night that I remembered what I had prayed that morning and it hit me like a slap in the face. God had answered my prayer in a very specific way! Not only had he revealed my sons rebelliousness, but he had given me the grace and wisdom to deal with it. There had not been a point in which I got frustrated or exasperated or angry with him during his entire loss of control. I knew that I had to stick to the rules and expectations that I had set up with his teacher and principal, I stuck to my guns and followed through and I did it with calmness and strength. This was NOT of me. This was very specific answer to prayer! Despite how weary I was, how heartbroken I had been I was able to praise God for giving me such an obvious answer to prayer!
This morning when I went to check in on his day, I was told that he had gone to class and apologized to his teacher all on his own, that he had sat quietly at his desk, completed his work and had no problems!! I was so glad to hear it! It was one battle that was won. Will there be others? Most definitely! Will I be so quick to pray a prayer like that again? I hope not! Will I? Probably, but hopefully only when I feel up to the challenge.
"But in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"
Phillipians 4:6 NIV 1984
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord gave me what I asked for"
1 Sam. 1:27 MS
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